Sunday, October 15, 2017

Guilt and Caregiving.

For the eleven years I was a caregiver, you always had conflicting emotions.  If you were out doing something fun and your loved one couldn't go, there was always a guilt factor involved.  Since Dennis passed away it has taken some time to get passed that emotion because guilt is a very powerful  tool that Satan loves to use.  But, we know our loved ones  would want the best for us, and that is what I cling too. I had 37 years with the most wonderful man, but now, I have to find happy again.  At least as much happy that is possible without Dennis, until I see him and Jesus in Glory!  Some days I don't think it is possible and some days I do, so I have to take it one day at a time.  I know without a shadow of a doubt that Dennis would have wanted me to be happy, he was that kind of person. This month some friends and I went to see REO Speedwagon and Dennis would have loved them!!

 We had a great time!!
Yesterday I went to the Oklahoma State University Homecoming game! We had so much fun. 

Much love, Cheri

Friday, September 22, 2017

Coming up on 6 months!

I didn't think I would survive but here I am!  Sometimes the hurt is so unbearable it seems suffocating, but I always pull through.  I am taking a Griefshare class and we learned that if we need to cry then cry, don't hold it in and you know, it works.  It seems after I have a good cry I feel better.  I thought I would be farther along than I am at 6 months but in my class I have learned that everyone goes through grief at their own pace, and it's true.  It’s the little things that seem to get me.  Watching "The Office" or "World's Dumbest" and not having Dennis there to laugh with me.  I need his advice and wisdom on family matters and he is not there.   I always want to talk politics or religion with him because he always had good insight.  He kept me grounded, and now sometimes I feel so unbalanced or unsteady.

This is the time when I have to take hold of the anchor that holds me steady.  God will never leave me or forsake me and I have to hold on to the promises He made.  He is working all things for my good and I have to trust in Him.  Like the song says  "When I cannot see it, God I still believe it, You are working all things for my good.'  Please keep Whitney and I in your prayers as we continue on in this journey.  Much Love, Cheri



Sunday, September 10, 2017

The Days are Getting Shorter!

The days are definitely getting shorter!  When I walk in the morning it is very dark and it used to be light and beautiful.  It makes me a little melancholy, another first without Dennis.  I had the first summer, the first anniversary, his birthday, going back to Grand Lake, the car show and the first OU sooner football game.  I feel like I have accomplished a lot in 5 months. Now, I'm headed into first fall, first Halloween, first Thanksgiving and first Christmas, UGH!  I'm reading a book called "Grieving and the Holidays", and it has been very helpful.  It says to take it slow and don't do anything you don't want to do.  I did get my fall decorations out today and it wasn't as painful as I thought it would be.  I just really don't want summer to end.  I can be outside and not stuck inside but I know I will get through it with God's help.  On an up note we had an Alince Cleo reunion and I got to see three of my classmates! 
                                              This is the football field on my morning walk. 
                         And this is a goat running past where I work.  It's a small town people!!!
Thank you Lord that you are always beside me, guiding and lifting me up.  Much love, Cheri

Monday, August 28, 2017

One last hurrah!!

We went back to Grand Lake for one last hurrah before the fall season is upon us.  Grand Lake has a different feel to it when all the kids are back in school and the summer is almost over.  It didn't matter to us we always have a "Grand" time!!

 This is where we love to eat!  Terra Miranda on Monkey Island. 
                                                                      Great friends!
Much love, Cheri

Saturday, August 12, 2017

Next year at this time!

If all goes well and God willing,
I may be on a new adventure next summer!  I'll give you a hint and I will listen to any advice someone would like to give. (as long as it is positive)

My friend Jana and I are planning to go, so please pray for a safe and fun filled adventure as we plan and go next summer.  This will be my first trip out of the country in 17 years and I am praying for God's peace on this journey.  I know Dennis's would be excited for me and glad it was not him going as was the case when I went to France, Holland and Belgium.  Much Love, Cheri

Monday, July 31, 2017

Rodeo Time!

It's rodeo time in Fairview and a staple in our community is the Fairview Wranglers Rodeo Parade.

The parade goes by and the people from the parade throw candy at the children.  These are some special kids waiting for their treats!

And of course, a visit from some clowns!

It was a great day for a parade .  This time of year always makes me think of my husband Dennis.  We live right behind the rodeo grounds so we would sit in our backyard and listen to the rodeo.  One year my husband had made a remote control skunk as a practical joke for the people that used to go to Grand Lake with us.  When we got home it's around rodeo time so we would sit out and wait for people at the rodeo dance to come walking and Dennis would run the skunk out.  We had great laughs and great memories from this time of year!


Tuesday, July 18, 2017

A Quick Trip to Grand.

A couple of Dennis and I's long time friends decided to run away and make a break for Grand Lake last weekend.  We left on Thursday night and came home Sunday so it was a fast mini vacation, but an oh so needed getaway.  I was a little hesititant because this is the lake that my husband and I, along with these friends and all our children, went for over 20 years.   We even brought Dennis here a couple of times after his accident.  I won't say there were no moments of melancholy, because that would be a lie, but I muddled through them and knew that he would always be a part of Honey Creek.  Honey Creek was his home away from home and I could see him everywhere.  My friends and I were determined to make new memories and have a great time and we accomplished that.  New memories, new friends, great food  and a great view, what more could we want (except Dennis).  Much love, Cheri

In memory of a really fun and awesome person!