Sunday, May 15, 2011

Decisions

  My mom and dad would come down to visit some but daddy was getting pretty frail and it’s hard for him to come down.  He cried and cried in Dennis’s room the night he came and that was about one of the hardest things I had ever witnessed, my big strong daddy crying over Dennis. I haven’t seen my dad cry very often and it broke my heart.  Whitney came as often as she could and we would spend some time at the mall or going out to eat.  During this time I had met a doctor whose daughter was paralyzed and he told me he had sent his daughter  to Craig in Denver and he hated it.  Then I met a Dr from Jim Thorpe and he had done his internship at T.I.R.R and he highly recommended it.  I felt like God had directed our paths, giving me confirmation, so we applied for T.I.R.R.   My mom was retiring and Dennis’s mom was retiring.  Mom told me she was retiring so she could come and live wherever we were going to end up.  People were making financial decision for me and talking about nursing homes for Dennis.  This was the most upsetting time for me.  There were only a handful of nursing homes in the state of Oklahoma who would allow vent patients.  I was not about to let my 48 year old husband live in a nursing home for the rest of his life and I didn’t want to move away from home. Everything at this point was starting to overwhelm me and I really started to feel sorry for myself. I felt like the walls were closing in and I needed my best friend to talk this thrrough with.   Then I would feel guilty because I was not the one that was paralyzed.  I was reading a Joyce Meyer book and I read this passage... in this life whatever exists now or will exist in the future is not permanent, but temporary.  The good news is no matter how dismal our current situation or outlook, we are assured by God, “this too shall pass”.    I felt like God was saying, No matter what you are going through at this moment, sooner or later it will pass.  Take one moment at a time, one baby step in front of the other.  There is Joy in the Morning!

1 comment:

  1. Cheri, it is so eerie how our journeys were so parallel. I too started freaking out about the big picture while at Select. My 19 year old son was in a glorified nursing home with not much assurance about the future. I was realizing that this race Paul talks about running was a marathon and not a fifty yard dash. Mike and I were having to take shifts sitting up with Mickey all night to keep him from pulling out wires and tubes. I was channel surfing about 5: 25 one morning and found Beth Moore. It was her closing statement. She said, "You may not see your prayer answered here on Earth. Keep standing in faith. Whatever you are going through, if you keep standing in faith, it will have eternal consequences. God is there with you. The bigger the trial, the bigger the victory. That was a WOW moment for me. I knew God meant for me to hear that at that exact moment. So thankful that those times have passed!!

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