Sunday, October 16, 2011

Being mean...

When I was a little girl my granddad had cancer.  He was like a father to me and I loved this man like one.  I always got his pills and water and I thought he was very fragile, which he was to a degree.  I loved my grandma also but there were times when I thought she was so mean to my granddad that I would cry.  Now, as I am older and also a caregiver I understand what my grandma was going through.  It is hard to be tough on someone that we feel sorry for, but sometimes you have to be.  When Dennis had gained too much weight we had to limit what he ate and people used to tell me that it wasn’t fair, that is one of the things he can look forward to.  When he doesn’t drink his water, I don’t force him and then when he starts getting a urinary trach infection I just look at him and say, “Did you drink a lot of water this week?”  Now, that he is under weight we practically have to force him to eat.  It’s not fun and it is a pain to keep finding something that he’ll eat or something that sounds good.  Then we have to get mean and tell him he has to finish it.  Just because a spouse has an accident doesn’t take away the fact that they are still your spouse.  We still argue and get mad and then we say we’re sorry and go on.  Dennis used to walk out of an argument and he doesn’t have that luxury anymore so we get to finish it!  We do these things out of love but we don’t treat them differently also because we love them. 

1 comment:

  1. Heart breaking but as you say one has to be cruel to be kind sometimes.
    Blessings to you on your difficult journey.