Sunday, May 26, 2013

Arles

I decided to post for Vintage Weekly this week.  Here is another couple pictures of Arles, France.  This is the hospital tha Van Gogh stayed at.  I am pointing my camera toward his room.
 
These are the halls of the coliseum.
 
                    Much love, Cheri

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Tornado

I hate the word tornado.  I have lived in Oklahoma all my life and nothing can put fear in your heart like that word.  With the new equipment we have now we knew that the conditions were good for this to be a deadly tornado and sure enough it happened.  We live in northern Oklahoma and this happened on central Oklahoma (for the third time).  Kids were in school hunkered down in the hallways and under desks.  It turns out to be an E5 the strongest rating of a tornado and it was at times 1 and a third mile wide with winds up to and sometimes over 200 miles an hour.  These images are not mine but I thought it would give you a glimpse into what these people are going through.  You can give to the Oklahoma Red Cross if you feel the desire to help, these people are going to need it.                    

 Whole neighborhoods were destroyed.
 It was a monster.


This is an elementary school and they still don't have all kids accounted for.




 
Moore, Oklahoma has had 3 major tornados since May of 1999 and this is the path they all took.
Tornadoes had also hit in the upper east part of the state the night before so please pray for the people of Oklahoma.  Much love, Cheri

Friday, May 17, 2013

Weekend Reflections

I haven't done a Weekend Reflections post in a long, long time so I thought I would throw one in.  I went to a meeting in the city and the meeting was on the 50th floor of the brand new Devon Tower in Oklahoma City.  The building is beautiful but there was a infinity pool in the building that was stunning.  The water was so still it looked like glass.

Much love, Cheri

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Anniversary

The 7th anniversary of Dennis's accident has come and gone and we didn't even mention it to each other.  There was no need, it's not likely we will ever forget that date and really what can you say after 7 years.  (2557 days, 61, 360 hours, 3,679,200 minutes).
We have some friends in the SCI (spinal cord injury) community and they live in Maine.  When Ben had his accident they had only been married a short time and had a little baby.  Erin wrote this article and it was published in the Huffington Post.  It's about caregivers.  We don't want to take anything away from what our spouses have endured, but sometimes we feel forgotten.  Her article was excellent and she gave me permission to post it.  So this is for all the caregivers out there.  God Bless!

                                              We are not alone by Erin Hayes

My husband has a spinal cord injury. I have been his primary caregiver for over five years. During that time I have dealt with more than almost everyone I know... I deal with a much different level of stress than others around me. Now, note that I didn't say harder or higher level of stress since well, I don't know if it is or not but it is different. Being a caregiver is a different stress than being a parent or being a spouse. Caregiving stress is different than work stress and home stress. Caregiving stress ties all of those different stresses together and weaves in another stress that ebbs and flows like the tide through my life.
 
One of the hardest things for people to realize is that they are not the only one dealing with the situation... We, as human beings, think that we are the only individual who knows how the situation feels. Well, I've been realizing more and more that I am not. I really am not. There are some many people, women especially, who know what I'm going through and who know what I'm feeling. There are women out there who have children and know the pains of being a mom to a kid who has a dad with a disability. There are women who are trying to figure out the best way to be a caregiver while also being a wife.
 
I am not alone.
 
So why do I feel alone?
 
I do. I think we all do. As much as we, the ladies in my online group, are starting to share our feelings, we still feel alone because, in our daily battles, we are physically alone. Yes, having someone there to listen and understand is fantastic and has helped us all in more ways than we can imagine. But still, we feel alone. We feel alone because our spouse, our partner in crime, our life partner, our best friend, is paralyzed.
 
Trying to explain how this feels to others is almost impossible. It is... How do you explain that you can sleep next to someone and yet feel so alone? That you can talk to someone, be in their life, deal with their injury and everything that comes with it and touch this person every single day and yet feel so far from them at the same time? That you can still love that person with all of your heart and yet feel so empty? Things like this are impossible to explain and impossible for others to understand. So we all still feel alone.
 
On top of dealing with marriage problems, there are caregiver issues. It's hard focusing on being a wife while you're doing your husband's bowel program. It's hard being a wife when you are dressing your husband. It's hard being a wife when you are feeding your infant and your husband at the same time. Yes, we have a child. A daughter. She was 6 months old when he was injured. So, on top of caring for my husband, I had to also care for our child. Alone. No breaks from middle of the night feedings. No breaks from changing diapers. She cried, I answered. Being a parent, a wife and a caregiver is sometimes darn near impossible.
 
We all feel empty and alone. I will admit, thankfully, that those feelings are starting to fade. I am lucky. I feel this way less and less and feel fuller and happier than I have in years. I am lucky. But there are so many out there who are not and who feel numb and alone and empty.
 
If you know a caregiver, any caregiver, know that although surrounded by their family, they may feel alone. Reach out. Listen. Talk to them. Know that these feelings may last for years... They do not go away easily. But we do not want to feel alone. So be there for us, if you can.

This is Erin's blog, feel free to drop in.   www.werocktheyroll.wordpress.com 
 
 
Much love , Cheri
 
BTW pray for us this is our weather forecast for tomorrow!
 
 
 
My husband has a spinal cord injury. I have been his primary caregiver for over five years. During that time I have dealt with more than almost everyone I know... I deal with a much different level of stress than others around me. Now, note that I didn't say harder or higher level of stress since well, I don't know if it is or not but it is different. Being a caregiver is a different stress than being a parent or being a spouse. Caregiving stress is different than work stress and home stress. Caregiving stress ties all of those different stresses together and weaves in another stress that ebbs and flows like the tide through my life.
One of the hardest things for people to realize is that they are not the only one dealing with the situation... We, as human beings, think that we are the only individual who knows how the situation feels. Well, I've been realizing more and more that I am not. I really am not. There are some many people, women especially, who know what I'm going through and who know what I'm feeling. There are women out there who have children and know the pains of being a mom to a kid who has a dad with a disability. There are women who are trying to figure out the best way to be a caregiver while also being a wife.
I am not alone.