Christmas 2017

A little thing that happened a week before Christmas was that they started the remodel on my two bathrooms.  It was stressful but I did have one done by Christmas Eve!

I think it was actually a gift because I was so focused on the remodel I didn't have time to think about the Christmas without Dennis.  So Christmas Eve my family gets together for games and Dirty Santa!  AND FOOD!!!

                                                               My daughter Whitney and my son-in-law Nick

                                                      My brother Gary and his wife Kim

                                                         My nephew in law Royce got a nice cozy white blanket!

                                                            My two great nephews Luke and Mark!
We had a great time as we always do when we get together.  So this year closes and I am looking forward to the new year, a fresh clean slate to try and draw new memories on.

                                                                                   Much Love, Cheri

A little Different Christmas

This Christmas was a little different for me.  I didn't have to get Dennis ready, I didn't have to feed him or make sure he wasn't cold, I didn't have to make sure his water wasn't empty and his pills were taken.   This year he has a new glorified body and singing praises for the birth of his King!  But here on earth we still miss him................

                                  The Blessings of Christmas to All,  Cheri

Getting back on track

I went to a Mark Lowry concert this week and realized my focus this season has been a lot on me and my loss, and not on Jesus.  Mark Lowry is the man who wrote "Mary, Did you Know?".  He was in the Gaither Family for years and this video is one of another singer, David Phelps, who sang with them also.  This song is where we need to be focused.  Jesus came, lived and died so that we could live again with him and our loved ones!  He is the Reason for the Season! 
                                                             Much Love, Cheri

Children

It always seems like nothing can lift the spirits like children at Christmas!  We had our children's Christmas Cantata at church last Sunday night and it was quite entertaining. 

They did a great job and I loved every minute of it.  We also had our Christmas parade on Saturday night.  There is nothing that beats the perks of a small town. Tons of people lined our street to watch the parade go by and to wave at Santa.  The Grinch even made an appearance!

                                                                      Make Christmas Great Again!!

                                                                                       It's Santa!!

                                                                         Love my small town!  Much love, Cheri
 

8 months and counting

I sometimes wonder when I will no longer count the 2nd of every month as the time stamp for Dennis's passing.  Will I ever?  Will the days get easier and is it just the holidays that make it so hard?  I guess only time will tell.  When Dennis passed away I said I wanted to go to sleep and wake up in 8 months, well here it is and  now I want to go to sleep and wake up in June!  In my grief-share class we talk about how everyone has their own way and their own time of grieving and so I have to put my trust in God and know that he is working all things for my good.  There has never been a time in my life when this has been harder, even counting the time when Dennis had his accident.  That time was hard but we were going through it together, this time is different, this is forever.  I don't want this to sound like a pity party because Dennis is healed and whole and praising his Jesus in heaven right now and I wouldn't change that.  Now I have to look forward to the time when I get to join him .  So as we look to the reason that we celebrate this season, I will pray for my heart to be healed and for those who have lost loved ones to be comforted, because now we have the gift of eternal life, all because of a tiny baby in a manger.                             

                                                    Lord Jesus come quickly,  much love.   Cheri










 

Guilt and Caregiving.

For the eleven years I was a caregiver, you always had conflicting emotions.  If you were out doing something fun and your loved one couldn't go, there was always a guilt factor involved.  Since Dennis passed away it has taken some time to get passed that emotion because guilt is a very powerful  tool that Satan loves to use.  But, we know our loved ones  would want the best for us, and that is what I cling too. I had 37 years with the most wonderful man, but now, I have to find happy again.  At least as much happy that is possible without Dennis, until I see him and Jesus in Glory!  Some days I don't think it is possible and some days I do, so I have to take it one day at a time.  I know without a shadow of a doubt that Dennis would have wanted me to be happy, he was that kind of person. This month some friends and I went to see REO Speedwagon and Dennis would have loved them!!

 

 We had a great time!!

Yesterday I went to the Oklahoma State University Homecoming game! We had so much fun. 

Much love, Cheri

 

Coming up on 6 months!

I didn't think I would survive but here I am!  Sometimes the hurt is so unbearable it seems suffocating, but I always pull through.  I am taking a Griefshare class and we learned that if we need to cry then cry, don't hold it in and you know, it works.  It seems after I have a good cry I feel better.  I thought I would be farther along than I am at 6 months but in my class I have learned that everyone goes through grief at their own pace, and it's true.  It’s the little things that seem to get me.  Watching "The Office" or "World's Dumbest" and not having Dennis there to laugh with me.  I need his advice and wisdom on family matters and he is not there.   I always want to talk politics or religion with him because he always had good insight.  He kept me grounded, and now sometimes I feel so unbalanced or unsteady.

This is the time when I have to take hold of the anchor that holds me steady.  God will never leave me or forsake me and I have to hold on to the promises He made.  He is working all things for my good and I have to trust in Him.  Like the song says  "When I cannot see it, God I still believe it, You are working all things for my good.'  Please keep Whitney and I in your prayers as we continue on in this journey.  Much Love, Cheri

 

 

The Days are Getting Shorter!

The days are definitely getting shorter!  When I walk in the morning it is very dark and it used to be light and beautiful.  It makes me a little melancholy, another first without Dennis.  I had the first summer, the first anniversary, his birthday, going back to Grand Lake, the car show and the first OU sooner football game.  I feel like I have accomplished a lot in 5 months. Now, I'm headed into first fall, first Halloween, first Thanksgiving and first Christmas, UGH!  I'm reading a book called "Grieving and the Holidays", and it has been very helpful.  It says to take it slow and don't do anything you don't want to do.  I did get my fall decorations out today and it wasn't as painful as I thought it would be.  I just really don't want summer to end.  I can be outside and not stuck inside but I know I will get through it with God's help.  On an up note we had an Alince Cleo reunion and I got to see three of my classmates! 

                                              This is the football field on my morning walk. 

                         And this is a goat running past where I work.  It's a small town people!!!

Thank you Lord that you are always beside me, guiding and lifting me up.  Much love, Cheri

One last hurrah!!

We went back to Grand Lake for one last hurrah before the fall season is upon us.  Grand Lake has a different feel to it when all the kids are back in school and the summer is almost over.  It didn't matter to us we always have a "Grand" time!!

 This is where we love to eat!  Terra Miranda on Monkey Island. 

                                                                      Great friends!

Much love, Cheri

Next year at this time!

If all goes well and God willing,

I may be on a new adventure next summer!  I'll give you a hint and I will listen to any advice someone would like to give. (as long as it is positive)

My friend Jana and I are planning to go, so please pray for a safe and fun filled adventure as we plan and go next summer.  This will be my first trip out of the country in 17 years and I am praying for God's peace on this journey.  I know Dennis's would be excited for me and glad it was not him going as was the case when I went to France, Holland and Belgium.  Much Love, Cheri

Rodeo Time!

It's rodeo time in Fairview and a staple in our community is the Fairview Wranglers Rodeo Parade.

The parade goes by and the people from the parade throw candy at the children.  These are some special kids waiting for their treats!

And of course, a visit from some clowns!

It was a great day for a parade .  This time of year always makes me think of my husband Dennis.  We live right behind the rodeo grounds so we would sit in our backyard and listen to the rodeo.  One year my husband had made a remote control skunk as a practical joke for the people that used to go to Grand Lake with us.  When we got home it's around rodeo time so we would sit out and wait for people at the rodeo dance to come walking and Dennis would run the skunk out.  We had great laughs and great memories from this time of year!

 

A Quick Trip to Grand.

A couple of Dennis and I's long time friends decided to run away and make a break for Grand Lake last weekend.  We left on Thursday night and came home Sunday so it was a fast mini vacation, but an oh so needed getaway.  I was a little hesititant because this is the lake that my husband and I, along with these friends and all our children, went for over 20 years.   We even brought Dennis here a couple of times after his accident.  I won't say there were no moments of melancholy, because that would be a lie, but I muddled through them and knew that he would always be a part of Honey Creek.  Honey Creek was his home away from home and I could see him everywhere.  My friends and I were determined to make new memories and have a great time and we accomplished that.  New memories, new friends, great food  and a great view, what more could we want (except Dennis).  Much love, Cheri

 

In memory of a really fun and awesome person!

 

 

Figuring it out.

I am trying to decide whether to continue blogging or give it up altogether.  It was an outlet to help me vent or help me when I was sad and also help me when I was happy.  I guess it can still be all those things and maybe even talk about Dennis every once in a while.I will start by saying I miss him every minute of every hour of every day, but that is to be expected since it has only been 3 months!  I celebrated an anniversary, 2 birthday's, Independence Day and a vacation without him and it is getting a little (stressing little) easier.  So I will post some photos and maybe keep this going for a little while as I am always surprised at how many stop in and visit.

My first visit to the lake after Dennis had passed away and it was beautiful!

Friends are a gift from God!  Much love, Cheri
 

A New Normal

 It is with a breaking heart that I have to inform you of Dennis's passing.  He died April 2nd and we had his celebration of life today, April 6th.  He was absolutely the best man ever and we will all miss him.  I hope he touched your life in some way and  just know that  he is in heaven having a great time running and visiting with many that went before him.  His love for Jesus is what is going to keep me going and I long for the day the Jesus will come again. He made me a better person and I am so glad that God honored me with the gift of being his wife.  Thank you all for visiting this site and being a part of his life.  Much love, Cheri